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Not Prince Hamlet

"Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse."

Fatty

Saturday, December 17, 2005

My college roomate used to delight in Fatty McGee, the wheezing stair climber from an Adam Sandler album. "Fatty McGee, you're the fattest," he would say, then add: "But I like the stairs; they're fuuuun."

Friends, I am slowly becoming Fatty McGee. I was weighed at the doctor's office yesterday, and a comparison of my present weight with my weight at my last visit, fifteen months ago, reveals that in that time I have added 20--count 'em, 20--pounds. 20 pounds in 15 months. God help me.

I knew it was coming on, I just didn't know how much of it. And I've become somewhat of an expert in explaining it away with words like "metabolism" and "stress." But the fact is that I like to eat junk food in large quantities, and I don't like to exercise for the sake of exercising. I have serious intellectual objections to running in circles because it's "good for me," or running on a treadmill because I "should." When I try to do that, I am painfully conscious of how much further I have to go, how much time is left, and that's all I think about. It's time spent being miserable, wanting only for the time to be up so that I can go get on a scale, look in the mirror, and hang my head.

College and seminary were great, weren't they? An accessible gym with a basketball court and an abundance of people willing to go play at any time of the day. Play. That's the key for me. If I can work in a regular routine of exercise that involves play and competition, then I'm great. But whenever I start to try to exercise and work out to "get in shape," I lose focus. The goal is not specific enough; it's too task-oriented, like cleaning your room or doing the dishes: just run these laps and then you can be done. I can't do it. I just can't.

I need a group of people with whom I can play with: basketball, raquetball, football, whatever. Even just running might be easier and more engaging if there were other people involved. Or maybe, like Fatty McGee, I just need to take the stairs more often.
posted by Not Prince Hamlet, 7:48 AM

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