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Not Prince Hamlet

"Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse."

IdolCritics, Top 13

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Welcome to a Not Prince Hamlet experiment: a weekly conversation with The Producer about American Idol. I assume it requires no explanation. Oh, and we may add a third voice to the conversation before long. Stay tuned.

(Note: the newest post is first; to start at the beginning, scroll down and read upwards)

From NPH: Here's a first line of disagreement, then: Kara Dioguardi. I'm into what she's doing, and I think Idol producers knew what they were doing in bringing her on. Before, when judging was limited to the Trinity of Randy, Paula, and Simon, criticism went something like this:
Randy: Yo, dawg, is was just aight f'me.
Paula: I love what you're wearing, and you obviously tried real hard.
Simon: It was horrible and your parent should be ashamed.
By adding Dioguardi to the mix, Idol has not altered the input of Jackson, Adbul, or Cowell, but it has put them in stark relief. She is just substantive enough to validate most of Cowell's disguist and to show Abdul up as painfully vapid. In fact, with any luck, the move will turn out to be subtraction by addition; Abdul is redundant, and this should be her farewell tour.

Next week is Grand Ol' Opry week. VFTW has a list of songs the contestants can choose from. Here's my bold prediction for the week: Michael the oil rigger will sing "The Dance" by Garth Brooks. You heard it here first.

From The Producer: First let me thank NPH for asking me to take part in the weekly conversation about American Idol. This is the first season The Producer has actually sat in front of the TV to watch this show because his beautiful and wonderful girlfriend told him this is a show we will TIVO and watch religiously. While my Reality TV viewing has always been limited to Project Runway and recently Top Chef I must say after watching American Idol so far this season ... it's a good show.

I took this photo of NPH outside of Fox Studios as the contestants for American Idol were driving through the gate to the sound
stage ... he's totally not a conspiracy theorist ... I mean look at those eyes!

NPH you can't really think there is a conspiracy going on with the producers of American Idol planting talent and forcing the judges to bow down to Adam can you? You gathered your binoculars after fetching information from a website that was made famous by the great Howard Stern who used his platform to try and keep Sanjaya on American Idol a few seasons back because it was hilarious.

Judges - They suck except for Simon. My remote cannot fast forward over the manipulative, crafty, selfish Kara Dioguardi fast enough. The words that come out of her mouth drip with everything that awful in this world ... she is horrible and I wish America could vote to have her hung from a rope publicly in Time Square. Randy and Paula ... still crazy stupid. If I have to hear Randy say bro, dude, like, dawg, or have to watch Paula's flabby old maid arms and crazy injected face dance for one more show I think I might have to stop watching. The only person worth listening to and who is honest about every performance is Simon. Simon who stated that Adam Lambert was the best contestant they saw for the Top 13 show, but reminded Paula there are 10 weeks left so let's not get too ahead of ourselves. No conspiracy there NPH.

Adam is good, has real talent that captured the audience with his performance of Black and White this week. In my opinion only three contestants this week sang a Michael Jackson song that didn't sound like they should have been hammered drunk singing karaoke with the Bearded Man down at the Brass Monkey in K-Town.

My favorites for this week and this season boil down in this order Matt Giraud, Adam Lambert, and Danny Gokey.

For next season I'd love to see both women judges thrown off the show and replaced with Kelly Ripa. American Idol may be a step down for Kelly, but I would much rather listen to her talk for three hours a week about how great the contestants are on American Idol rather than Kara and Paula.

From NPH: That was fast. From 13 to 11 in one fell swoop. I have no problem with Jorge and Jasmine getting booted, although it can hardly be argued that Anoop was the worst performer of the top 13; who in their right mind would try to cover Beat It?

The thing that got my ire up more than anything as I watched the performances last night (yes, last night: absent a television, I watch online the next day) was the judges' fawning over Adam Lambert. Paula actually said that Idol had never, in all of its previous seven seasons, seen a performer like him. But not only the Queen of Hyperbole, but also Simon, Kara, and Randy: they all heaped slobbery praise upon Adam's rendition of Black or White (watch it below). It was good, sure. Excellent even. But there's something suspiciously disproportionate about their accolades, both in terms of the evening's other performances and in terms of Idol judging protocol as honed over the last seven years. They were all so starstruck that I was embarrassed for them. If Kara had leapt upon the stage and pleaded for an autograph, I wouldn't have been surprised.

I think something's fishy here. Vote for The Worst tagged Lambert as a plant early on, which, by itself, doesn't bother me in the least; plants are a part of finding talent. But they seem to be going out of their way to push this kid who, to my mind, is a bit over-the-top and, well, garish.

Am I being a conspiracy theorist?

Labels:

posted by Not Prince Hamlet, 9:35 PM

3 Comments:

Ah, Mr. Producer...your voice is as laugh-producing and distinguishable as ever. Might as well be tearing apart Brooker Brooks.

Nothing better than reading a back-and-forth that sounds so familiar. I have never watched one minute of American Idol (not claiming a high-horse here...I just can't stand covers, regardless of who does them), but I will continue to read simply for the laughs and the memories.

Keep them coming, friends.
commented by Blogger Scott, 8:57 PM  
Scott, there's no cover worse than the Black Crowes' "Hard to Handle," right?

Good, as always, to see you.
commented by Blogger Not Prince Hamlet, 10:01 PM  
Game, set, and match sir.

Didn't know it was a cover until it was way way way overplayed. To the point that I like Otis Redding's version better now.
commented by Blogger Scott, 3:47 PM  

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