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Not Prince Hamlet

"Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse."

IdolCritics, Top 5

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

From NPH: Kris Allen says he can't match up vocally with anyone else left. He's right, although his performance of "The Way You Look Tonight" challenges the assertion. He looks goofy in a suit, though, for real. Randy loves it ("Mad nice vocals"). Kara loves it. Paula loves Kris. Simon's not as enthusiastic, since it was "a little bit wet." Beautiful. Seriously, this is what Allen needs to ride as far as he can: guitar-less ballads that left him plant his feet at a mic and make goofy faces.

Iraheta, who is as hampered more than the others by this genre, is my favorite to make it to the final. She comes out all Michelle Pfeiffer in "The Fabulous Baker Boys" and absolutely crushes "Someone To Watch Over Me." She's it, boys. She's totally it.  Kara places her in the finals based on this performance, saying, "If that doesn't land you in the finals, I don't know what will." Welcome to the party Kara. Simon predicts she could be in trouble based on her lack of demonstrated confidence. I hate the comment, 'cause Simon's crazy-like-a-fox smart. 

Giraud went to Western Michigan University. So did The Roller's and my classmate. Huh. Dude needs to lose the hat, and his rendition of "My Funny Valentine" is bland, compared to what Iraheta just did. I wasn't moved. Neither were Randy or Kara. Paula liked that he took Jamie Foxx's advice (thanks Paula), and Simon throws his lot in with the crowd, who love him. He praises him for his "believability" and "authenticity."

Sidebar: can we be done with this insistence upon "authenticity?" What ever happened to the virtues of performers performing? When did it become necessary for a singer to be a lovable, believable, cuddly persona? I blame Kara for most of this verbiage, which I think has confused the contestants and single-handedly let to the demise of Lil Rounds. It's not constructive. It's not specific. It's sentimental and lame and all wet. 

Next we see Taylor Hicks--er, Danny Gokey. He's boring. So far, the worst. He hits soaring full-voiced high notes and I couldn't care less. I'm ready for the Gokey parade to be over. Randy loves it though and thinks Gokey could make a record like this right now. Kara gushes over his "swaggah," Paula calls it "stellar," and Simon holds him up as the exemplar of confidence. Gokey looks on with his smarmy smile all the while. I'm not buyin' it. 

And now the conspiracy has to advance, 'cause Lambert's in the sweet spot again, singing right at the end. That's the choice slot, and he's had it several times already. I expect nothing but salivating, gushing, coronating love from the judges. Jamie Foxx love him, for what that's worth. And, um, the high note he hits at the end is an absolute show-stopper. Kara and Paula are stupid beside themselves and can't complete a sentence in praise of the Wicked kid. I don't know, though; it feels like I've seen it already. 

Concluding thought: I'm more committed to Iraheta and less excited about Lambert now than ever. I just can't bring myself to root for Adam; he belongs in a different format, not begging for the praise of this half-baked panel. Iraheta I can root for. And so I will. 

Iraheta for Idol '09: the campaign has begun. 

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posted by Not Prince Hamlet, 8:18 PM

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